Topics Topics Edit Profile Profile Help/Instructions Help Member List Member List  
Search Last 1|3|7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  

Real domestic discipline

Spanking Classics » Spanking Discussions » 2003 - Jan thru to Dec » 2003 Jan thru to Jul » Real domestic discipline « Previous Next »

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Roofliz
Spanko
Username: Roofliz

Post Number: 62
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 11:21 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

O.K. This is possibly my first serious question on this board!! Do any of you people out there REALLY, REALLY use spanking as discipline? Part of me finds the idea a huge turn-on - but that's surely still exotic, fantasy stuff. A real spanking that hurts must be horrible! What's the line? And also, any real disciplined women out there - what do you get out of this? Do you honestly believe that another human being has the right to take charge like this? Or are you equal because you gave them that right? This is a genuinely enquiring question - what are the politics behind the lifestyle? Where does feminism come into this? I am a feminist, why do I have such male-dominated fantasies? And I'm asking other women who live these fantasies. We only role-play up til now, and I am happy to act out any amount of female submission. But I'm asking how it works for people when it's no longer role-play. Just curious is all. Love, Liz
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Roofliz
Spanko
Username: Roofliz

Post Number: 63
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 01:58 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I KEEP writing exotic spanking instead of erotic - although there could be a connection!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Pattty
Intermediate Spanko
Username: Pattty

Post Number: 43
Registered: 01-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 02:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Sounds like you've made up your mind, so answering the question feels a little uncomfortable.

There are whole websites devoted to the question, and entire threads on a few forums exploring this very issue.

Yes there are people in relationships where "real" discipline is used. In fact there are relationships where "real" discipline is a stabilizing force.

My sexual fantasies also revolve around discipline, so I can relate. Punishment within a relationship is not a fantasy though. If your needs and interest is purely sexual, then DD is probably not something that will work for you.

What I "honestly believe" is that I appreciate the cleansing effect of a disciplinary spanking. A real spanking that hurts is not a sexy thing, when you have earned it within the context of your shared goals.

We use spanking to clear the air. Very few women who thrive in DD relationships are dominated In fact many of us won't put up with it the way it exists in our fantasies.

I used to think there was something wrong with me because I needed and benefited from spanking in both contexts, discipline and sex. Then I came to the realization that they are two very different entities, and they stem from different needs within me.

Enjoy your role play. If the idea of a "real" disciplinary spanking seems "horrible" and the idea politically wrong, then chances are it isn't for you.

Don't confuse submission with punishment though. They are not one in the same. I may submit by taking my pants down when told to, and I may submit by coming to him when I am going to be punished, but I walk away from a disciplinary spanking with all of myself and my autonomy intact.

Disipline is something I share with my husband. We set our goals together, and we choose to deal with dissent and stress between us in this way. It suits BOTH of our personalities.

But yes, ther are REALLY people out here who use spanking as discipline.
Patty}
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Roofliz
Spanko
Username: Roofliz

Post Number: 64
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 03:02 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks, Patty, I appreciate hearing your feelings and how it works, very much! Liz
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Roofliz
Spanko
Username: Roofliz

Post Number: 65
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 03:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Also, I haven't made up my mind, by any means! that's why I want to hear other's experiences. Part of me wants and needs what you have, but I partly fight it. So, you used to think there was something wrong with you, but maybe I've got a bigger problem!! Thanks again, L
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Pattty
Intermediate Spanko
Username: Pattty

Post Number: 44
Registered: 01-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 03:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I will post a couple of old true stories on the archive board then. They come out of some real soul searching that I did a while back...
Patty}
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Roofliz
Spanko
Username: Roofliz

Post Number: 66
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 05:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I've read them both and whilst I'm still not sure, it's certainly given me a lot of food for thought. I think your writing is beautiful, both there and on the story board. Thanks for sharing this - Liz
Also, if the 2nd story was you, then I sincerely hope you're in good health again now X
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Serijules
Spanko
Username: Serijules

Post Number: 59
Registered: 01-2003
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 07:01 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

To me, the ability to put your own needs and desires before some absurd standards of society in regards to woman, is a sure sign of a strong, intelligent, secure woman. If you want a spanking, if it makes you feel secure or is something you need and you have the strength to ask someone to give that to you...I can't think of anything more liberating.

Domestic Discipline...or discipline in general since I don't break down the categories, is the center of my own desires in regards to spanking. I love erotic spankings and fun spankings...but it's the discipline that I embrace this lifestyle for. I get punished for real reasons, I dislike roleplay, it's something I never do or want to do. So real discipline is very much a part of my lifestyle. It's hard sometimes, because I don't always want it, but it's something I choose as part of my life.
xoxo,
serijules
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Kilahara
Awesome Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 367
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2003 - 07:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Liz! This is definitely an interesting question, especially since DD is a small, but important, part of the spanking scene with my partner, while it is not part of my normal (?!)interest. However, on those few occasions when she has seriously requested a discipline spanking, I have complied, but I find it very hard to do... yet I want to do what she wants, if that makes sense.

She, as you have already heard from Patty, finds this a truly cleansing thing, much like the effect for many of the penance connected with confession and absolution.

Elizabeth is one of the managers on a private DD website. If you are interested in learning more and joining it (it's called DDEW, by the way) you might send her a PM. She does not post here often, but you will find her name occasionally on the Story Board and Spanking Discussions.

You will also find her on the Lifeboat where you are a member. If you have trouble making a contact, and wish to, please send me an email or PM and I'll put you in touch with her.

Because of Elizabeth I am a member of DDEW. I seldom visit it, but from what I've seen I can assure you that there is a surprsingly large number of people interested in DD as a lifestyle.

Take care...

Ross
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Roofliz
Spanko
Username: Roofliz

Post Number: 68
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Monday, March 03, 2003 - 03:11 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks, Serijules and Ross, it's very interesting to hear other's viewpoints. I will look into the DDEW website, and I love Serijules point about being strong and secure. That's a very good point, and I hadn't looked at it that way. I suppose I'm still trying to squash myself into the role that I made for me - wanting to be strong, successful, totally self-sufficient. I know from my little experience of life that in order to grow and live I have to keep questioning what it is that I want. And I am very, very lucky in that my husband loves me unconditionally and I trust him absolutely. Thanks, folks XOXOX
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Cagirl
New Spanko
Username: Cagirl

Post Number: 8
Registered: 02-2003
Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2003 - 03:32 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi All!

This post has been very interesting. I totally agree with everyone here about the discipine. My husband and I used spanking strictly for discipline. BUT, it started off as sexual. I'm the one who had the interest and I'm the one who introduced it to the relationship. But once we started I realized that I needed the discipline and not so much the sexual part.

I'm not into roll playing either, so I had to tell my husband what I really wanted...and that was REALLY hard. But now it's been about 3 years, and it's great. We don't set a bunch of rules...we just go by our instincts. He decides when a punishment is warrented, and I go with it...although not always willingly..LOL. I feel we are equals, he always consults me on things and he always takes my feelings into consideration. But I feel I have grown so much in the past 3 years. We've been married 14 years (on the 12th!) and I'll tell ya, the past 3 years have been the BEST. We communicate so much better than we ever have, because we talk, talk, talk, about things, and then we deal with them, instead of letting them fester!

well, that's my 2cents worth. BTW, I'm a member of the DDEW club, and it is a wonderful place to learn about this subject. This place is great for stories and such, but if your really looking for serious couples, or people that are into d/d relationships, DDEW is a really great club.

ta ta for now!

Tayna
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Submittedjoy
New Spanko
Username: Submittedjoy

Post Number: 1
Registered: 03-2003
Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2003 - 12:45 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hello... new here...
I and my husband have practiced DD for about 3 years... It is real, discipline... very rarely is it sexual or erotic... It is real discipline! I initiated it however... We signed a contract... I know where I stand with my husband... I know who is in charge... If I forget... LOL He's quick to remind me. :-)
"And the wife, see to it that she reverence her husband..." Eph. 5:33
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Sarah_elizabeth
Junior Spanko
Username: Sarah_elizabeth

Post Number: 11
Registered: 03-2003
Posted on Friday, March 28, 2003 - 01:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

My experience is a little bit different from the others that have been posted here. In the last relationship that I had before I became involved with my husband there was domestic discipline in the relationship. However, because of my partner's attitude towards it and my emotional health at that time, it turned out, for me at least, to be more detrimental than good. In fact (and this was my partner's fault) at times it did border on abuse-- emotional more so than physical.
In spite of my experience with it, I don't view it as abuse. I agree with Patty, it can be very cleansing. However, my husband and I do not use domestic discipline because he is somewhat uncomfortable with it (due to his experiences and mine) and we decided that I am much more hard on myself than he could ever be or want to be. If I feel that I need to be punished for something, we talk about it and find ways to work on it for the future.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Sarah_thorne
Awesome Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Sarah_thorne

Post Number: 241
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Wednesday, April 02, 2003 - 09:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I do think there's a fine line to be walked with a true DD lifestyle, as it can turn abusive easily. The paramount aspect to it is trust...complete and implicit trust. I do think that, although one leads and the other submits, that the control given is just that....given by the 'sub' and therefore renders both equal( or should) in the relationship as far as respect and humanity goes, but definitely one is in control of making decisions for both. (Hopefully with input from the other considered...I think it should be that way)

While I don't and won't practice an 'all the time' DD lifestyle, instead embracing more erotic spankings than anything, I do agree to true discipline when deemed necessary for serious matters. The reins are handed over by me in deciding. :-)

sarah

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Klara
New Spanko
Username: Klara

Post Number: 1
Registered: 03-2003
Posted on Wednesday, April 02, 2003 - 01:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have been reading much of the correspondence regarding domestic discipline but never had the courage to write. I live with my husband, a lovely kind and gentle man in normal circumstances, but also very strict, a no nonsense man, which I of course accept fully even though the outcome sometimes can be painful. I have been at the receiving end of many spankings but the last one was a continuous 30 minute punishment, which drove me to the limits and beyond. I was begging him to stop but to no avail. This is what happens when I behave like a brat.

I have to admit that the spanking by hand or strap does me good, I feel elated and happy longer term even if somewhat subdued for a while. I may cry and I did in the last one.

I donít for one minute think that my husband is cruel or unkind. He has taught me much (he is older than me ) both in terms of art, music and general knowledge as well as how to behave like a lady even though this maybe painful.

Regards to everyone and I wonder what other think.

Klara
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Flossy
New Spanko
Username: Flossy

Post Number: 3
Registered: 05-2003
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 04:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I can't imagine that dh would ever spank me and would probably think I had "lost it" if I asked, but I do crave the release from a good old-fashioned .....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lily_p
New Spanko
Username: Lily_p

Post Number: 18
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Monday, April 16, 2007 - 03:00 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

My recent Birching by my Dom was a discipline spanking for a serious and True offense. See it posted in Real spanking stories. I was terrified of it, and it hurt a lot and marked me pretty good (no cuts) but it did help curb my bad habit that I needed to be punished for. And strangly, I was somewhat aroused by it.
Lily P

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Bold text Italics Underline Create a hyperlink Insert a clipart image

Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Automatically activate URLs in message
Action:

Administration Administration Log Out Log Out   Previous Page Previous Page Next Page Next Page