Post Number: 9
|Posted on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 11:54 am: ||
Your Wife Wants What?
A 5 Minute Guide to becoming a SpankerMan
This is a no nonsense article for non-spankermen who have significant others who have the interest in disciplinary spankings. Maybe your wife or girlfriend finally told you about their long term interest in receiving disciplinary spankings. Maybe it is someone new in your life who was up-front with you right away. However you discovered about your partner's interest, this article is for you. It is short, sweet and to the point. It may describe some common feelings that many women who need/want disciplinary spankings are experiencing.
I have two words of caution. First, in a short article like this, it is impossible to review all of the issues that you may confront. Second, everyone's individual feelings are just that - individual. This article does not try to describe them all - just those most common among what is affectionately described as a brat.
Setting the Mood
Just like when you engage in lovemaking, setting counts for most women, setting up the spanking counts for most 'brats' (grown women who want to
receive disciplinary spankings either in role playing or for real 'infractions.'). For most women, the mental aspect of the spanking is much more important than the physical. It starts with that look. You don't need to say much. It is in your voice, your look, your demeanor. Brats want to push you until you draw the line and make them pay the consequence for their behavior. If your mate wants to 'play' in this way, don't worry about what she is saying to you when you are scolding and telling her how you are going to spank her, watch her actions. Does she still push? Does she get mouthy? Do you get her attention with your scolding? Does she start to say she is sorry? If she does any of these, you have started to set the mood.
Don't be in a hurry. Take your time. Always stay in control, requiring behavior (like having to 'fetch' the wooden hairbrush or other instrument of correction). If she doesn't obey you, instantly add another punishment. Possibly counting penalty strokes (i.e., swats that are delivered after the punishment would otherwise be completed.).
Brats like certain words when connected with spanking. Practice them so they sound natural when you use them in a threat. Words like naughty, bare bottom, behavior, young lady and miss are all key words for a 'brat.' Of course the word spank usually gets their attention.
Phrases are also important. Here are a few: "Do you understand, young lady?" "I'll give you something to cry about, miss." "Assume the position!" "Get your naughty bottom over here" "unacceptable" "look at me young lady" and "pull down your panties." Just think back to when you were a child or teen and remember all of those phrases that people in authority might have used to get you to straighten up. These words help to take her away from today's responsibility and assist her in giving over control.
Warm up, warm up, warm up!!!
Perhaps this is the most important element of giving a good disciplinary spanking. It happens all the time. The wife or girlfriend tries to get her mate to give her a good spanking, sometimes specifically asking for this type of relationship and after she gets spanked, she complains. Not in her brat mode but in reality. She says it was too hard. What she is probably telling you is that you didn't give her a warm up.
First, what is a warm up then why give it. A warm up is a light spanking that builds over a period of minutes or even an hour or more. Take your time and spank lightly for minutes and minutes. Take your time building the sting across her bottom. Often the young lady will start to sass even more because she is starting to get the attention she seeks but it is not hard enough. This is especially true when a young lady is receiving her first taste of over-the-knee justice. She thinks (incorrectly) that it doesn't sting as much as she thinks it might. Just smile and keep on warming up. You will build the intensity until she changes her attitude. Don't think you need to spank harder.
During a warm up it is important to spread the hand spanks or light hairbrush or paddle strokes (always start with your hand first) all across her cheeks. Concentrate where the thighs and bottom meet. NEVER spank high. Keep it about an inch lower than the top of her crack. Remember, you can injure her if you spank too high plus you will not have the after impact when she is sitting down.
Continue the spanks while you scold. Rest your hand on her warming cheeks to give her skin the time to warm up to the spanking. Possibly corner time is appropriate at the end of the first phrase of her warm up. Of course you don't tell her that it is a warm up or that is why you are sending her to the corner, but it works all the same.
Warm ups are important to both set the stage and prepare her skin with a good workout. The rule of thumb (or of palm) is that the longer the warm up, the more spanking she can probably take. Remember, it will increase the time she can take a spanking - something that she has craved for a long time.
Ritual is everything. Over-the-knee (with one leg over her legs if necessary) or over-the-lap (more comfortable if you are sitting on a couch so it does not apply too much pressure on her stomach) is by far the most appreciated position for brats. Bending over a couch is often associated with a belt spanking or strapping. Bending over a straight back chair is often viewed as an acceptable position for penalty strokes (look above).
Ritual also means that you stay in your role of a disciplinarian during the entire 'punishment.' Sexual play or wandering fingers often is not appreciated during a disciplinary spanking even if it is your wife or girlfriend. There very well may be time for such activities after she has 'paid the price.'
Holding her chin during a scolding, making her look into your eyes when you lecture her (remember to throw in those 'spanking words,' various instruments that are just used for punishment (wooden spoon, wooden hairbrush, leather belt, etc....all after the warm up spanking with your palm) also add to the ritual.
For many of us (those of us known as 'spankermen'), giving a disciplinary spanking alone is our reward. But as a spouse of a 'brat,' you get at least two rewards. First, and foremost, you will know that you are fulfilling a very special part of your significant other's life. Many women go through their entire life wishing they could get some traditional discipline and never have the nerve to disclose their need. It will bring your relationship closer. And then there is always the other reward most 'brats' will give their spouse or boyfriend after they have been o-t-ked. Then again, maybe you will learn to like the actual activity. It has been known to happen. Good luck!
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Post Number: 1360
|Posted on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 04:57 pm: ||
This is very well written....Thanks for posting it.
Sane Safe and Consensual. Now we're done talking will you just SPANK ME!
Post Number: 1433
|Posted on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 08:46 pm: ||
Thanks Kay, this was wonderful! Not having much actual spanking experience, I always like when certain terms and such are explained to me. Good job, now do one on the GG spanking!
Live simply, so that others may simply live.
Post Number: 309
|Posted on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 09:55 pm: ||
I am SO printing this!
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
~~Robert A. Heinlein
Post Number: 305
|Posted on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 10:29 pm: ||
This is wonderful. We don't do discipline but so much of it applies to an erotic spanking that you want to "pretend" is discipline also.
I have always said that I wanted instructions to give to my Vanilla husband. Thanks Kay!
Post Number: 545
|Posted on Friday, October 31, 2003 - 11:58 pm: ||
You done a wonderful job writing this. Thanks bunches.
Innocent Imp is who I am.
Post Number: 398
|Posted on Saturday, November 01, 2003 - 11:44 pm: ||
You're right Kari, you can use this as a guide for a pretend punishment too. This is a good piece even for guys who have spanked before to read as a reminder to make the scene complete. Very nice!
I spank, therefore I am.
Post Number: 1
|Posted on Saturday, February 28, 2004 - 02:28 pm: ||
Imagine my surprise when I saw my essay on this fine board! I'm glad others enjoyed it. If you want to read other essays I wrote (at no charge) or seek advice, check out my website: http://www.spanking-jack.com/home.html.
This is a great site!
Post Number: 1589
|Posted on Saturday, February 28, 2004 - 03:48 pm: ||
Hello Jack O Lantern........ltns!!!!! How is my beleoved city of cleveland these days????? Perhaps you can attest to the draw of its lakes and ways and explain WHY we order POP and not SODA........
..............just to nudge the old memory..........acehigh ring a bell there?
Besides the one in the belfry??????
"We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals. We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein...we greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours they move finished and complete, gifted....living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren..not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travails of the earth."
Henry Beston The Outermost House
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Post Number: 2033
|Posted on Saturday, February 28, 2004 - 09:18 pm: ||
Thank you Jack. Let me assure you that many here have appriciated your fine words.
I'm so pleaased to have you join us here. It would delight us if you would share more of your thoughts on our diiscussion board.
Welcome to Classics
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Post Number: 2174
|Posted on Saturday, February 28, 2004 - 10:04 pm: ||
Hello Jack, and a welcome from me as well. Perhaps you'd consider posting some of your other thoughtful work here yourself for us to share? In any case, please join in the conversations, both serious and otherwise.
It is obvious that you have much to contribute. We are indeed happy that you found us.
Navigo, ergo sum.
Spanking without love, trust and consent is abuse.
Post Number: 20
|Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2004 - 06:39 am: ||
Hmmm. Am not sure about what Kay said about wandering hands.
I find I need a spanking when I'm frustrated. (With life as well as when I'm just not getting enough).
So if I'm being a bitch its' because I need my man every which way there is.
So, a straight spanking isn't enough! I like it when the hands don't just spank, but explore and increase the sexual arousal.
Your partner will surely let you know (non-verbally if necessary) whether or not the spanking should be purely non-sexual or not. If in doubt, ask!