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An Oddyssey of Exploration - Spanking...

Spanking Classics » Articles & Essays About Spanking » 2007 - Jan thru to Dec » An Oddyssey of Exploration - Spanking for Pleasure - by Ross « Previous Next »

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Kilahara
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Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 7142
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:38 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

For some time I have been putting off posting this essay, because by its nature it does deal first with childhood and then with childhood’s effect on the adult. Some description is essential in order to understand exactly what the imprint on my being was like. There is no intention here to argue for or against spanking children. While I have my opinions on that, they will not be shared in public. By the same token, sexuality is not an issue. That was a foreign concept before puberty. Most adults have memories of childhood, a fact no rules or legislation can eliminate or control. It can sometimes be difficult to decide what is acceptable and what is not.

AN ODYSSEY OF EXPLORATION
DISCOVERING SENSUAL SPANKING


Spank v.t. to strike or slap the buttocks, as with hand, slipper, hairbrush etc. n. spanking


The only way to explain the glories of sensual spanking as they appear to me requires an examination of just how my personal interest and enthusiasm came to be and to evolve. There are two main theories on how many people discover the pleasures of ‘This Thing We Do, and how it can become a part of their being and a source of joy. To some people the root of the interest is believed to be in nature, our genetic being. In other words, some of us are born with the fascination. Another school of thought begs to differ, insisting that nurture, experience to be precise, is the key.

For people like me, who take an eclectic approach to the major schools of developmental psychology, a combination of the two makes sense. Regardless of how others see it, it is my firm conviction that the basic interest was born within me, while pleasure and appreciation were formed through experiences, especially in early years, both real and otherwise. The object of this exercise was, in the beginning, to write an essay in praise of the sensual side of adult, consensual spanking.

The delightful sensations of spanking thrill me and bring pleasure. Rules, customs, protocols and labels, especially complex ones, bore me to tears. In order to present my case, it appears that the best way to begin is through a personal odyssey from the beginning. Please voyage with me from earliest memory to the Joy of Spanking.

The Dawn of Awareness


In his autobiography, Sir Lawrence Olivier noted that his first conscious memory from childhood involved a spanking, and the story of his life starts from there. Whether or not the great actor of stage and screen, a boyhood hero of mine, remained enthralled by this thing that fascinates us, is uncertain in my mind. What is certain is that Sir Lawrence and I shared a similar moment of awakening.

How old I was at the time remains unknown. Two years is a possibility, but it could have been less; toddler times for certain. There is no recollection of speech on my part as the scene unfolded, yet memories of my thoughts, the words of others, and the event itself remain vivid along with the sensations of the moment. It happened in the house where I was born, our Canadian home, not Dovea.

Off the mahogany-panelled dining room, dark with its heavy beams, was a sort of conservatory. It was bright, with large windows overlooking the garden filling two walls, where green plants grew and gold fish swam in bowls among them. Against the only full wall stood the piano, a massive upright grand, by Heintzman. In the centre of the room was a sort of desk or work table where older siblings did their homework, and in a few years I would follow suit. There, too, our father wrote cheques to pay the bills. For seating there was a single chair and the piano bench. A wide archway separated the conservatory from the dining room, and just inside it, on the floor under a window ledge, stood my place of induction. It was a heavy oak case containing the sewing machine that was, with difficulty, lifted onto a table when needed.

My grandfather, a writer and amateur musician, was playing the piano. There was nobody else around, except the dog, and he was sleeping. The conservatory work table was much higher than me, which made it a challenge. The chair made the challenge possible. Soon I was standing on the table, looking down at my grandfather. “Look at me, Grandy,” I thought, I don’t think I could say it yet. Grandy looked back and up, smiled, and said something and continued to play.

Suddenly my mother was there, and everything seemed to happen in a blur of motion. I was lifted abruptly from my eyrie. Somehow, (Who knows how adults accomplish these things?) Mummy was seated on the sewing machine box, my pants were down, and then I was lying on my tummy across her lap, examining the grain patterns in the oak floor. This was a new experience entirely! The position felt comfortable, non-threatening, but why had she put me there? There was a sound of smacks, and my bottom felt suddenly hot and sore, but not terrible. In a strange way it felt good. I didn’t cry. Hugs followed. “You are a brave boy. You didn’t cry,” Mummy said. Then she stood me up, looked at me, and said, “You must never do that again, or I will have to give you another spanking.”

So that was a spanking! I was vaguely aware that my brother and sister sometimes had spankings, but had no idea what they were. I knew they got them in their bedrooms or sometimes the living room, but I never saw. Now I knew!

Spankings! My bottom felt good afterward. The word was thrilling. Spankings! Exciting, private, secret. I absorbed the word. Spankings. Somehow a door had been opened into the future. Despite that delight in the discovery, I don’t think I ever climbed up on a table again, at least not for years. Perhaps I learned two lessons that day, but one of them was almost certainly not what my mother had intended.

II


Of course there were more spankings after that, probably ending for me at home about the age of eleven. There is no need for the purpose of this essay to go into any detail about specific occasions. There were not too many, although I did grow up in a period when spanking, or worse, was perfectly normal, and an accepted part of everyone’s childhood, at home, school and elsewhere, at least in Canada, Ireland and England, the countries I knew. Possibly because of that seminal event, the word spanking has always meant a smacked bottom, the traditional across the lap position, and usually with the necessary clothing removed. There was never any hint of abuse. The older one got, however, the more embarrassing the ritual became. To my eternal mortification, I once heard my mother say to a rather young and pretty woman whose daughter was in my class, “I find spankings are effective, because they hurt their pride more than their bottoms.” That was true, and as far as I can remember, a spanking never made me cry.

In our house, most spankings were given by our mother, possibly due to the fact that our father was a war veteran who had lost an arm in a frightful battle during which he also suffered from poison gas, two sad events that altered and shortened his life. Analysing the probable effect of childhood imprinting or nurturing on my current attitude and interest in spanking, that aspect of our family life may have had a good deal to do with my associating spankings with the opposite sex, although no doubt sexual orientation plays a part in that.

Everything about spankings became fascinating in my mind, whether they were my spankings or someone else’s, and a number of my neighbourhood friends, surprisingly, felt much the same. Spankings were a frequent topic of conversation from perhaps the age of four or five, as we moved from the parallel play stage to cooperative and communicative play as social skills developed. Describing experiences after a spanking to the ‘in’ group was common. It’s a long time back to remember exactly, but there were perhaps fifteen kids involved, and most of us ended up in the same class, in a small elementary school that had only nine rooms, one for each grade, from kindergarten to grade eight.

Discipline in most homes in our middle or upper middle-class neighbourhood was very similar, so attitudes among us were compatible. Most wanted spankings, yet avoided them as much as possible, because the embarrassment or humiliation was difficult to face. From a very young age fantasies abounded and were often shared.

While we were too young and small in stature to imagine the possibility of giving spankings ourselves, the dreams and fantasies were mainly of being spanked by a young adult or maybe a teenager of the opposite sex who was in some way attractive. Of course the actuality of sex was beyond our comprehension and did not enter into it, although the physical sensations could not be denied, although not understood. Boys, certainly, experienced 'protoeroticism.' We all, boys and girls, knew that it felt good, even if it hurt.

O Spankophilia, Ambivalence is thy Name!

The Girl Next Door


Of course there was a girl next door, as in all good stories. In fact there were two, one in each of the adjacent houses. Susan, (names changed throughout for the usual reasons, of course) did not actually live there, but she spent a great deal of time with her widowed grandmother who lived alone in a large house, almost the twin of ours, and pretty well lived there in the summer time, no doubt giving her parents a needed break. She was cute, blond, and like me, attending kindergarten, but in a different school, in the neighbourhood where her father was the minister of a United (Methodist) church. The grandmother, Mrs. Parker, was the widow of a University of Toronto Professor of Theology who was also an archaeologist, and involved in the excavation of King Tut’s tomb, in Egypt. (Tut-Ankhaman.)

At that age, Susan and I would play together, if there was nobody else around. Five year-old boys and girls might like each other, but preferred that to be a secret, choosing playmates of the same gender when possible. The confusions of childhood! In this case there was always the chance of being invited into Mrs. Parker’s house, and seeing some of the fascinating artefacts from Egypt. Some were rumoured to carry a curse from the tomb.

Susan was one of those very much aware of spankings, at home and abroad. Her clerical father and his wife were well aware of the Biblical injunction, ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child.’ She was not shy about discussing such experiences and inquiring about those of others. Out of this comes another of those childhood vignettes. Girls in those days always wore skirts or dresses, even for outdoor play.

The two of us were in our backyard, lying on the grass, watching, if memory serves, a parade of ants. We were on our tummies, more or less forming the letter T. “I broke one of Mummy’s good dishes last night,” Susan announced, looking over at me. For some reason there was a slender stick in my hand.

“What did she do?” Of course I asked the appropriate question. For some reason, long forgotten, I stood up, the thin switch grasped firmly. Susan stayed where she was.

“Guess!” she said, and reaching back, lifted her skirt. I saw her panties and the shape of her bottom! Susan then pointed at the slender rod in my hand. “Do it!” she said, and giggled. I patted her behind lightly with the slim stick, overcoming a strange and powerful urge to use my hand instead. Another door into the future was opened, albeit slightly, for the five year-old me. Possibilities broadened.

At that moment Mrs. Parker looked over the fence, and invited us for afternoon tea, a common ritual in that neighbourhood and time. A magical moment was over. The ‘Cambridge tea’ – hot water, sugar and milk with a spoonful of real tea – and home-made cookies were good.

With that experience, and perhaps a missed opportunity that still spawned fantasies, the idea of spanking as well as being spanked was absorbed. Life was looking better! Another incident was imprinted.

III



The Evil Witch of Blythwood School


Learning was valued in that house on Sheldrake Boulevard, and reading was considered the key to knowledge and pleasure. Books were there in abundance, and stories at bedtime were a ritual. We were encouraged to love, respect and explore books. While I have no recollection of learning the basic skills of reading, somehow, perhaps by osmosis, many of those skills were acquired at home, well before kindergarten ended and ‘real’ school began. The reality of school came to me on entering grade one and meeting Miss Heddle, who grimly presided over it. That situation would prove to be my undoing.

It was mid-September, and twenty-eight six year-olds sat properly at their desks, in five orderly rows. Miss Heddle stood at the front, unsmiling as always. Grey haired, grim-faced and wearing rimless glasses, she was, of course, much bigger than we were, and somehow had managed to inspire terror in her charges from the first day.

“All right class, take out your readers, put them on your desks, and do it quietly.” Twenty eight copies of the ‘Mary, John and Peter’ book appeared on twenty-eight desks. “Open your books and turn to page four.” Miss Heddle wrote the numeral ‘4’ on the blackboard. In due course we all found the page, and looked up at the teacher.

“There is a new word on the page, one that you do not know. I want you to point to the word. I will come around and check where you are pointing.” Miss Heddle waited what she considered to be a suitable time, then started up and down the aisles looking at the pointing fingers of the children, all relieved when she approved their choice of the new word.

When the teacher reached my desk, I was not pointing at a word. Miss Heddle became angry. “Where is the new word, the one you don’t know?”

“There isn’t one, Miss Heddle.”

Annoyed and exasperated, she stabbed her finger at a word on the page. “There is the word you don’t know.”

“But I do know it, Miss Heddle. It’s ‘little.’ “ I said it clearly. A few of my fellow students gasped.

“You don’t know it. I have not taught it to you yet.” That made little sense, since I knew the word perfectly well, and could not understand her anger.

Miss Heddle, face now deep red, going on purple, grabbed me by the arm and yanked me out of my seat, and almost dragged me to the classroom door. “Boys and girls., there is not to be a sound while we are out of the room.” I was hauled down the corridor to the Nurse’s Room, which was only in use one day a week, since this was a small school. As we passed the office, the teacher obtained a black book from the secretary who looked concerned as she gave it to Miss Heddle. At six, and in grade one, I had no clue about the significance of the black book with what looked like a long book mark protruding from between the pages. I would soon learn.

In the Nurse’s Room I stood while she opened the book and wrote something in it, then picked up the strange book mark. It looked thick and heavy, with a textured appearance that I would one day learn was because of a sort of canvas and rubber material, usually used for industrial belting. “Hold out your hand.” Still not comprehending, I did so.

‘Crack!’ It sounded like a gun shot, and my world exploded in pain. I started to cry.

“Now the other hand.” The same sound, the same agony.

“The first hand again.”

“And the other one.”

Miss Heddle closed the book and led me, crying, back to class.

Two of the big kids walked past in the hall. Despite the pain I was suffering, I overheard one say to the other, speaking softly, as was expected in schools of those days, “He just got the slugs.”

“I know. I heard.”

The class was quiet when we returned. Miss Heddle grudgingly handed me a tissue, and said nothing.

IV


I had just been given the strap. It hurt. There was nothing nice about it. The teacher had been angry, and unfair. I really did know that word, in fact I knew all the words in the Mary, John and Peter Book. I must never tell Miss Heddle that I had read the whole book to myself. The message was clear. Straps were used by mean, angry people, like the Witch of Blythwood School, who wanted to hurt.

December arrived, and with it the snow. One winter Monday morning, the bell rang and we went to our classroom, dreading another week with the Witch of Blythwood School. On entering the room, however, there was a surprise awaiting us. There was the Principal! Mr. Sweetman, himself. Beside him was a young woman who smiled at us. We went quietly to our seats, wondering. There was no sign of Miss Heddle.

“Boys and girls,” the Principal began. “I have some sad news for you. Miss Heddle had a fall on the sidewalk, and broke her back. She will not be returning to the school.” Twenty-eight six year-olds cheered. Mr. Sweetman kept a straight face and said nothing about our shocking reaction. “This is Miss Cox. She will be your teacher now.”

“Good morning boys and girls,” she said, with a smile that she seemed to really mean.

“Good morning Miss Cox,” we chorused. From that moment a great weight was lifted from us all, and when the school year ended in June, it had not returned.

My opinion of the strap, or ‘slugs,’ had been painfully and permanently imprinted by Miss Heddle.

V


A Pivotal Moment in Grade Three


Peggy-Anne was an eight year-old brat, in the clearest and most definite sense of the word. In later years, of course, I came to the realisation that she was emotionally disturbed, and perhaps should not have been in our regular grade three class at Blythwood. We, the same twenty-eight kids who had been in grade one together, had no knowledge or understanding of such problems, and most teachers of the time were equally ignorant if such niceties of psychology. Peggy-Anne had a habit of punching her fellow students without provocation or warning. That did not make her popular. This happened on a daily basis, often in the classroom as we were putting coats away in the lockers along the back of the room. The teacher was fed up, and one day made the fatal mistake of an exasperated threat. “Peggy-Anne, if you do that again, I will give you a spanking in front of the class.” She had been spanked, in private, on previous occasions. Peggy-Anne did it again. The teacher was forced into keeping her word. “You promised, Miss Ferguson…” the class reminded her.

Miss Ferguson placed the traditional teacher’s chair of the day in Toronto, a solid oak, straight-backed armless one, facing the class. She sat down, and Peggy-Anne stood beside her, looking nervous, a finger in her mouth. “You know what to do, Peggy-Anne,” the teacher said. Peggy-Anne said noting. She started to cry, and stood there. Miss Ferguson reached out, pulled her close, and placed her, struggling, across her lap. The girl continued to cry. “What are you crying for, young lady? I haven’t touched you yet.” Peggy-Anne cried. Her short skirt had lifted to reveal her panties! There were giggles and snickers, mainly from the boys. Miss Ferguson was not without some understanding of us. Holding Peggy-Ann in place, she looked sternly over the five rows of pupils. “This is not a joke. If any of you boys laugh again, you will come up here after I finish with Peggy-Ann, and take her place." There was silence at once, and many of us looked at each other with grins we tried to hide. Four spanks were given, and they did not look painful at all.

Peggy-Ann got up from her spanking and returned to her seat. “Did it hurt?” someone whispered to her while the teacher was putting the chair away. She just shook her head.

The recess bell rang, and we went out to play. Among most of our class, there was only one topic of conversation, at least in the boys’ yard. Some of us admitted we had been tempted to laugh, but the idea of an audience was too scary.

VI


This was clearly an important developmental moment for some of us, and the image of that event was imprinted in the minds of many. Whatever the nature of the interest that was nurtured by what we had witnessed, it definitely ensured that for many of the class, spankings would always be interesting and exciting. The topic became frequent in conversation from then on.

The same group of kids moved as a unified group all the way through until the end of grade eight, when many of us were sent to private schools, and the others had a choice of three public high schools in North Toronto. Decades later, however, many of us met at a reunion held for the school’s seventy-fifth anniversary since construction. The first reminiscence raised? You guessed it. Peggy-Ann’s spanking. She did not attend the reunion.

VII


Summer of Spanking Delight


That summer, I reached the great age of nine on my July birthday. The day following, I arrived at the farm owned by my elderly grandmother and one of my uncles. This became the setting for the Lurker stories, no longer on Classics, but being re-written in an age-play format, a series of stories based on real life childhood adventures. Not only was there a girl next door in my childhood, but there was a country cousin as well. Sarah is her name in the Lurker stories, so that will do here as well. Sarah and I were good friends as well as cousins, even if she was a girl. She had a couple of girlfriends living nearby who were frequent visitors to Roselawn, the farm where Sarah lived with her parents, my uncle and aunt, and, of course, our grandmother.

(To keep within the guidelines from Bethany, posted on he Administration Board, details of the summer adventure will be kept to a minimum. (Commercial!) In due course they may be read in an age-play on ‘Play House,’ via Bethany’s Corner.)

The two friends were there when I arrived at the farm. I told Sarah, and the others of course, about Peggy-Ann’s spanking, and mentioned that I liked Miss Ferguson, and thought she was a good teacher. Sarah replied, telling how her teacher of the same grade, had spanked a boy in front of her class. My cousin added, “I think the best teachers give spankings.” That was the first indication I had of her interest, and in a moment the conversation was about spankings, at school and home. The activity was of great interest to all four of us. The subject of birthday spankings came up, and everyone agreed that they were fun and a good idea. Sarah told everyone that my birthday was yesterday, and I, perhaps foolishly, admitted, when asked, that I had not had a spanking for the event. A death wish, maybe?

Of course the girls decided to remedy that lack. Being outnumbered, and Jane, a friend of Sarah’s, was older and bigger than all of us, I decided it was wise to accept. However, there was some room for negotiation, and they all agreed that afterward they should all have spankings for their last birthdays, or coming ones, and I was given the honour of providing them.

The next half hour or hour, memory is vague on that aspect, was fascinating and fun for all. I enjoyed my birthday Paddywhacks, but at least equally enjoyed their spankings. Giving spankings was a new experience, and one to be savoured and remembered forever! A girl's bottom felt nice under my hand.

There followed much discussion on spankings and sharing our own experiences and feelings on the matter. The upshot was a plan for a long-term game of playing house while I was at the farm, with role-play scenes based on family discipline. Of course that aspect of our activities was kept from the adults.

Needless to say there were several spankings each day, when the grownups were not around. Everyone got spanked and gave spankings, but I found that in my case as the only boy I became perhaps 70% spanker, and 30% spankee, since the girls did want their opportunities, too. There was no question at all that I found pleasure in spanking their bottoms!

That same summer, one of our play times was interrupted by a couple of real spankings, when Sarah and I were marched off to the drawing room by her mother because of an incident the previous day. We each got one before returning to the girls who waited for us on the back porch.

The momentous happening in our play spankings was the time when Kitty, the third girl, announced that her spankings at home were on the bare bottom, and she wanted the same thing now! It was, of course, necessary to oblige.

VIII


There were certainly long-lasting memories imprinted in brains and bottoms by all this. Spankings during visits to the farm continued for a few years, ending, perhaps because of some reason unknown to us, about the same time discipline spankings at home came to an end, around the age of twelve.

Interestingly the topic of spanking was not raised again between Sarah and me, nor with Jane and Kitty. I am frequently tempted, even now, to ask Sarah about her feelings on the subject, but have not had the courage to do so, and she has never said a word, yet I am sure the memories are still there. One of her sons has joined the Lifeboat, as I found by checking the IP address of an applicant, whose nickname looked familiar!

Imprinting? Yes, I think so. Aside from modern developmental psychology on nurture and imprinting, the Jesuits were correct, in most cases, when they said, “Gave us a child until the age of ten, and he is ours forever.” I tend to believe, like most who have studied educational theory, that the ‘Formative Years’ are from birth until 12, or the onset of puberty.

During that memorable summer at Roselawn Farm, all the facets and pleasures of non-sexual spanking were explored and enjoyed. The four of us were still in the dark about the birds and bees…The Joy of Spanking remains, at least with me.

IX


Unearthing the Literature!


It was during my year in grade five that an amazing stash of reading material turned up in the basement of our home. By that time my voracious reading had uncovered the caning scenes in the Boys’ Own Annual, provided by an aunt in England, and in Tom Brown’s School Days. The school scene when Tom Sawyer took a beating for his beloved Becky Thatcher fired my childish imagination as well. R. D. Blackmore’s classic, Lorna Doone, had an interesting scene in a mixed classroom, when the master says, ‘John Ridd, Sirrah! Up to the front, and down with your smallclothes.’ This certainly conjured up images of humiliation in front of the girls. Glad it was not me! There were certainly references in books and movies to spankings and other forms of corporal punishment, but the treasure in the basement was much greater than that. There was more to be found in the world of literature than mere passing references to the fine art of spanking.

One afternoon when I was alone in the rather large house, for some reason I went through the basement laundry room, and on a shelf there spied a cardboard carton that I’d never seen before. It contained many copies of a tabloid weekly newspaper aptly named, Justice Weekly. Curious, as ten year-olds are, I opened the top paper, and in the centre spread found a double page of, ‘Letter to the Editor.’ At the time I did not realise that such letters can be written by the editor when needed. The first letter had me totally astounded, and the rest were similar. Justice Weekly had found an avid reader, especially for the ‘Letters,’ page.

Almost every letter was a detailed description of a spanking, strapping, caning or flogging of some sort, usually first-person accounts by receivers of the spankings, with a smattering of reports by those administering them. Oh joy! In the letters I read such phrases and expressions as bare bottom, being prepared, smack-bottom time, tingling in anticipation, and the explanatory statement, ‘I am going to take down her panties and spank her bottom.’ The imagery was magic to the mind and music for the soul. It would be some time before I noticed that the same expressions appeared in most letters, suggesting a strong connection among them in the matter of writing style. It was even longer before I discovered that my grandfather, an author, columnist and journalist, had been filling in as editor of Justice Weekly, in the absence of the paper’s owner for a few months.

The rest off the tabloid seemed to concentrate where possible on stories in which corporal punishment, legal and common at the time, was ordered or enforced. Thus there were articles about prison flogging and strapping as well as an occasional juvenile released to parents on the condition that corporal punishment was given.

Regardless of the author, the Letters to the Editor provided fascinating reading for several weeks, after which time the carton disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. It was only natural from that time on to keep an eye out for publications which might feed the fantasies.

X


The Road to Discovery


Puberty’s arrival wrought astounding changes, as it does for us all. The childhood spanking games in which, with some measure of innocence, the excitement and pleasure of being spanked, spanking and watching spankings were all experienced, savoured and relished, came to a quiet end. In the summer I turned thirteen there was no suggestion from Sarah and her two friends that we continue our sport during my annual visit to the farm. We were beginning to understand why we had hidden our version of ‘playing house’ from the adults around us, and the four of us had uncovered the anatomical differences between girls and boys.

Of course I cannot speak for others about their personal experiences, but as this new part of life began, the initial ‘imprinting’ period was over, and the experiences of those years became a part of me and affected how my character and attitude were formed. It is pretty certain that those formative years had a great deal to do with my adult attitude and interest in This Thing We Do. The teen years for me were mainly years of frustration and fantasy, resulting from a period of serious illness, and the need to make up for and surpass a year lost to surgery and hospitalization. The teen years for me were mainly years of frustration and fantasy, resulting from a period of serious illness, and the need to make up for and surpass a year lost to surgery and hospitalization. By this time, of course the sensuality of innocent childhood had grown into erotic fantasy, built up from embellished childhood memories, and imprinting as well as new and astounding discoveries introduced through the surge of hormones. Spanking, of course, loomed large and dominant in the scheme of things.

A quick look back over the spanking events of the first twelve years of my life, real and vicarious, makes my involvement today in TTWD understandable and predictable. Now as then, it seems natural and normal to associate spanking with someone across a lap, and mainly, but not always, receiving bare hand on bare bottom. The Oxford dictionary definition, somewhat refined through experience and memory. From the first experience of a spanking, the intimacy of hand on behind gave physical pleasure, even, strangely, when it hurt. It was something to be avoided and yet welcomed.

It was during childhood, as mentioned, that the concept of spanking for fun was discovered, if not conceived. Through that experience also, the possibility of being the spanker, and the different but at least equal, sensual pleasures of that role came to light.

One other aspect of TTWD came clear during those formative early years was the idea that for me, spanking was a pleasure to be enjoyed with members of the opposite sex. I am not sure whether that matter of preference results from the fact that spankings invariable were shared with females. (Note that in my opinion and definition, school punishment by strap, cane, or the American paddle, were not spankings, and from my experience and observation contained no element of pleasure, at least for the receiver, and for most of those who administered it as well.) The other deciding factor for me, at least, is the matter of my heterosexual orientation, something of which I was aware before actually being aware of sex.

My personal odyssey contained further experiences with academic corporal punishment during adolescence . They was the second encounter with ‘the slugs’ at age thirteen, this time justified, but still painful, and a couple of additional ones in an independent boys’ school, where I got the distinct impression that a mathematics master enjoyed the cane. I did not.

Inevitably the years passed. The ‘formative years’ that lead to adolescence ended, and during that period of time the imprinting was accomplished. Teen years went by in a blur of school, hospital, more school, a little experience, and lots of fantasy. College, university and employment introduced the adulthood during which I continue to learn and explore, even in what are euphemistically called the ‘Sunset Years.’ Until the discovery of the Internet, there was but one happy time within the magical world of TTWD while attending an English university , but many occasions of embarrassment, rejection and inept approaches on my part. Like so many of us, I have the Internet to thank for discovering that I was not alone.

Through all of this, then, I became who I am. Within the boundaries of This Thing We Do, that means a person who simply enjoys spankings.

~o0o~



To be continued…

AN ODYSSEY OF EXPLORATION - II

ADULT SENSUAL SPANKING


One important lesson learned when the Internet became available and the ‘s’ – word suddenly produced cyber routes to discovery and to meeting others of like interest, was that people in all areas of life are different. Spanking, while exciting to all aficionados, means different things to different people. My first experience with spanking for pleasure was with three girls whose thinking was the same as mine. Spankings feel good, and there are wonderful sensations whether you are giving or receiving. Sex, at least as far as we knew was not involved, for that driving force was yet to enter our young lives.

By taking both roles, one can enjoy it all. That seemed pretty straightforward to all four of us at the time. To me, it still does. Having said that, there did seem to be a natural preference that each of us felt, and for me as time went on it became clear that I generally preferred the role of spanker. Now in my dotage, the concept of a total experience seems to be the ideal, although it is not always possible for everyone to attain. A spanking is, for people like me, entirely about sensations.

To others, however, the word has a different connotation altogether. The dictionary definition, at least according to the OED, appeared at the beginning of this essay. That simple definition, with certain embellishments, still serves me well. For others spanking involves discipline, domination and submission to varying degrees, and these often include much more than a smacked bottom. At times a complicated hierarchy and formalized social procedures are a part of the matter. Implements become almost essential and the level of pain, received or administered becomes of vital importance. This essay is not about that kind of activity, which seems to fit more into the world of BDSM than of spanking, but just where the dividing line between the two is to be found, few can say for certain. The line of demarcation is vague.

Despite the obvious slant of the following, there is no intention to denigrate the many fascinating and more intense aspects of TTWD that are discovered as one moves along the scale of intensity. The intriguing psychology of ‘imprinting’ has many aspects and runs in many directions. There is no question that those whose early experiences were more abusive in nature and more intense will react differently later, if they maintain an interest and enthusiasm for the activity that is our common bond. As for those whose introduction to spanking or BDSM was vicarious or purely fantasy, only a time for exploring experiences in reality and can help them find the niche they seek. It is also understood that many whose predilection is in one area may also enjoy experiences of a different sort.


~o0o~


Spanking! What a delightfully exciting and evocative word. Just hearing it brings to mind a jumble of thoughts, sensations, memories and images. Some seem to conflict, and the intensity of feeling and pleasure that comes from the act of spanking or being spanked, or sometimes both, would surely astound those who are not ‘One of us.’ The mental pictures and fantasies conjured up by the concept of spanking unite fantasy and reality in an event to be anticipated, shared and enjoyed.

It is almost time to share a spanking! At once the delicious time of apprehension, nervous expectation and excitement begins. Thoughts of getting ready. Tingles! For the person about to be spanked, contemplating getting into position across a partner’s lap. Having the courage to do that when the time comes. Not wanting to do it. Afraid. Wanting to lie there! Wondering. Can I do this? I want to, and I don’t. I want to avoid my spanking, but I want it to happen. I wish it were not now, but I can hardly wait for it to begin.

Getting ready! The partner who is about to spank anticipates, as well. Will my partner enjoy this? Will it really happen? Am I trusted enough? I hope so. I’ll not break that trust, if it is given. Imagining the warmth and closeness, the hugs stroking and pats of affection first. I can hardly wait to hold, see and touch! My partner, standing close. A little smile. Nervous? Not afraid! Please, no fear! Now!

‘It’s time for your spanking, dear.’
Last moment thoughts! Warm and fuzzy, comfortable, trusting. Shapely bottoms, sensitive to touch, a delight to feel. Caring and cared for. Shared. Let’s do it!

Spanking! Getting into position. Cuddling or being cuddled. Settled at last. It feels good! Petted and caressed, petting and caressing. A spanking is shared in affection and trust. Caring and cared for. Mutually understood and enjoyed. Tingles like goose bumps in bottom cheeks continue.

Preparations. What’s expected? Will it be? Yes! Of course. Baring or being bared. Exposed and viewed. A wondrous gift! Honoured to accept and appreciated deeply. Happy to give. Touch or be touched. Bare hand, warm on bare bottom. Softness. Affectionate caresses and pats. Wonderful to give. Delicious to receive. Physical sensations are exquisite. Nerve ends gather them… and help them spread. This should go on for ever. Love pats enjoyable to give and to receive. Some sting a little. It’s a nice sting.

Are you ready to have your bottom spanked, dear? Yes! I’m ready. Spanks. Pauses. Sting! Warm, pink cheeks. It hurts. I know, dear, it’s supposed to hurt. Try and keep still now. Sting increases. More and more. Can I take much more? Is this too much? Are you alright? I can. Yes. I want it to stop, and I want it to go on forever. It’s over at last! Cuddles and hugs, Caresses, Lotion, or just a sympathetic hand. Healing touch.

Afterward? Something warm and nice.

II


The dictionary is too simplistic in its definition. Spanking. The word means so much!

To those who enjoy the sensuality of spankings, the foregoing jumble of thoughts will mean a lot, for someplace in there the wonderful activity is defined. It is all about sensations, but sensations that are built around a smacked bottom. A spanking implies not just the stinging lower curves, however, but involved intimacy, affection, trust consent and respect, all mutually shared. With all of that, the sting or pain that is a part of it is sublimated into pleasure.

There is apprehension, mixed with excitement and the desire to spank or be spanked or both. Whether given or received, spankings are filled with sensual pleasure.

Of course the question of sexuality and sex arises, and it is something which is both admitted and denied by those who enjoy spankings because they feel good. For me the definition of terms, no matter what the subject, is essential, and by my strange nature, the definition needs to be accurate, even if it does not fit my personal ideas on the matter. For that reason, when thinking about spanking, whether for pleasure or otherwise, my understanding of the word begins with the dictionary one, although my mind embellishes it with surrounding sensuality. One edition of the Oxford English Dictionary says:
Spank v.t. to strike or slap the buttocks, as with hand, slipper, hairbrush etc.n. spanking.
That’s pretty specific. The same dictionary has definitions for caning, strapping, paddling, and does not refer to them as spanking. That may be splitting hairs, but so be it. The childhood definition that constantly return to my mind, was, ‘If you were not over a knee (across a lap) with your pants down, it was not a spanking.’ If that is acceptable, then the hand and any implements that can be used in that position qualify. The physical contact and reassurance that goes with it, make the difference between a spanking and other forms of corporal punishment.

Once spanking is more or less defined, then sex or sexuality needs to be defined as well. Even that is not easy to do. For some people, sex is intercourse. For others there is a much broader definition. Thus Mr. Clinton and Miss Walinski had their views, shared by many, in fact. Because of some training, and a little education, in the field of psychology, my view is based on clinical thinking. All physical pleasure ultimately centres on the 'id' or most basic and primitive part of the conscious being, and that means such pleasure is related to the basic natural urges and instincts. In that case, physical pleasure that does not involve hunger, survival, or thirst, is based on sexuality. (Sexuality does not necessarily mean or include the ultimate act of sex, or even arousal.) Spanking for pleasure is a matter of enjoying sensations. So, how does one define it, and avoid the controversy of the label, sex? Some among us use the word erotic to describe it, but erotic comes from the Greek word for sexual love. It still has that implication. Thus, for me, the expression sensual spanking fits. The pleasure comes from the sensations, and that may be all that is needed with some people and at some times.

Again we find that there are those with an entirely different approach. They may see spanking as a kind of release or relief as a needed and desired punishment, or as a punishment that the spanker is internally programmed, perhaps imprinted, to give. The punishment, given or received, is the foundation, and discipline, not sensuality, is the central core of the matter. The sensuality kept in the background. The fact that in the days when spanking was commonplace and acceptable, those involving adult and child were for discipline, certainly makes sense in this context. That message could well have been imprinted and retained.

There is no question that many couples whose primary spanking interest is sensual also engage in a disciplinary aspect of the activity, but with most of them that is still not the real reason, but a justification, sometimes, for giving or receiving a spanking. Ultimately with these people it is enjoyed, and the discipline is of no great importance. Much the same takes place when couples engage in role play or age-play together. The following verses describe discipline within sensual spanking fairly well, or at least they certainly try!

Sensual Spanking – a Poem

Saturday Eve - Two Thousand and Three


On a Saturday eve in two thousand and three
It's time for the Girl to lie over his knee.
Soon she is there, held firmly in place
A delectable vision his view to grace.

Down come her panties, her bottom now bare
Is kissed by a zephyr of ambient air.
First touch of his hand, like wing of a dove
For she will be spanked 'midst an aura of love.

Then she is hugged, reassured of his care.
He rubs her back, strokes her dark hair,
Said he was sorry it had to be done,
And then it is time that the spanking's begun.

His hand then comes down with the first spanks
Each one a reminder of her naughty pranks.
For moments he pauses, caressing her seat,
Gently relieving the stinging and heat.

While she is there, they discuss what she'd done,
He forgives all her actions, then one by one.
Sometimes caresses her, sometimes gave spanks,
And for the relief she gives him her thanks.

Over his knee, she feels just almost sore,
Yet always quite ready to receive a few more.
She knows what is needed, accepting the cure,
He understands her, his judgment is sure.

He teaches the lesson, yet leaves her a glow
So the love that they share, each always know.
After her spanking, kisses for each bare cheek,
She will be good, and may pretend to be meek.

Then before long, there'll be a naughty clue
As she shows she enjoys 'This thing that they do.'
Lovely green eyes, pretty dark hair
She'll be over his knee, cute bottom bare.

The year’s unimportant when this spanking took place,
What matters of course is the affection and grace
Shared by this couple, a most comfortable two
Sharing together, This Thing That We do.

Who spanks whose bottom is of no great import,
No judgment is made, not of anyone’s sort
What matters is simply enjoying the spanks…
For delightful sensations, let us give thanks!


Whatever games we may play in our minds, for the sensual couple, the goal and final result are pleasure.

When I first discovered websites dedicated to the art of spanking, my belief was that all interested adults had a similar idea to mine, a sensual approach and an emphasis on pleasure, despite the necessary sting. The first sites I frequented attracted like minded people. Since then, like others who type the ‘s’-word into a search engine, I have been amazed at the variety of viewpoints and outlooks, and delighted by the number who in some way share our interest.

In the last few years, it has appeared more and more that we who seek pleasure and sensuality, may be the minority. Opinions, of course, are most welcome.

finis

Navigo, ergo sum.

A true spanking is a delightful combination of events and sensations, shared between two people who consent, share affection, trust and respect each other.



Ross of Kilahara...
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Naughtynature
Advanced Spanko
Username: Naughtynature

Post Number: 1397
Registered: 03-2005
Posted on Monday, April 03, 2006 - 02:28 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Since I was not spanked during childhood, nor read or watched movies that contained spanking, I found your discovery and awareness interesting. My discovery was really quite accidental.

I don't feel that those who seek pleasure and sensualtiy are in the minority. :-)

Thank you for a thought provoking article.
"It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce."

"Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. "

Voltaire


Don't take life so seriously...it isn't permanent





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Dark_angel
Advanced Spanko
Username: Dark_angel

Post Number: 1963
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Tuesday, April 04, 2006 - 01:16 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

An interesting article Ross. It's wonderful that you can trace your interest back so far :-). I think it is almost hardwired into someone, although it might take a specific, or even a seires of events to make it known. I came across TTWD mainly in university, researching a project actually when this site came up as a hit. I have been a member ever since lol.

Looking back I remember feeling ackward seeing movies and such with spanking in them, but now i'm pretty sure it was because i was interested in it but it was not seen as something appropriate so i was conflicted. Still, it is nice to read and share expeirences and to find out you are not alone.
Carpe Noctem

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination - Mark Twain
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Karianne
Advanced Spanko
Username: Karianne

Post Number: 3601
Registered: 08-2003
Posted on Tuesday, April 04, 2006 - 10:35 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Your childhood memories of spanking are wonderful reading Ross. I got lost in reading that. I was enjoying it so much.

I didn't start thinking about any of it until I was 12 or 13. I do remember playing "doctor" with a girl playmate which I remember with fondness much as you remember the spankings.

So your grandfather was a spanko! I wonder if one of your grandchildren will ever find any of your writing!

Kari
"...When she was good, she was very good indeed,
but when she was bad she was horrid." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Msbrat1128
New Spanko
Username: Msbrat1128

Post Number: 3
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 10:26 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I was spanked occasionally as a child, and remember feeling apprehensive beforehand and excited at the same time. I wasn't sure why I wanted it to happen and wanted to avoid it at the same time. Maybe it was because I felt guilty.

I always wanted to play house with my friends, but we weren't ever unsupervised for very long and they didn't seem too interested, so it was mainly typical girly playing with baby dolls and such. I've always enjoyed hearing stories about others getting spanked although it didn't make sense. I'm glad to know there are many others like me and I'm not 'weird' or a 'freak' as my friend jokingly called me.
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Kimmy
Intermediate Spanko
Username: Kimmy

Post Number: 235
Registered: 03-2006
Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 12:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

This was a terrific article Ross. It explains in words so much of what I have felt for so long and was never able to express.I have been interested (obsessed, fixated, possesed, consumed) with TTWD for as long as I can remember but until I was an adult with children of my own, never had any experience.I was never spanked as a child, although my brother was, often.(I was such a good girl). What experience I did gain was only during sex with my now ex-husband (totally vanilla)and very unsatisfying. The whole thing made me feel as though there was something wrong with me...

When I finally allowed myself to admit how I felt, and accepted, with the help of this web site, that I am not a freak or perverted, my entire world changed. Your article helps put this all into perspective for me. Thank you, for that, and for your understanding.

And I loved the poem.

Kim
"Oh for a life of sensations rather than thoughts..." Keats

"Risk-taking, trust, and serendipity are key ingredients of joy. Without risk, nothing new ever happens. Without trust, fear creeps in. Without serendipity, there are no surprises."

-- Rita Golden Gelman, Author of Tales of a Female Nomad. She has had no permanent address since 1986.
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Scarletskye
Junior Spanko
Username: Scarletskye

Post Number: 91
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Sunday, May 07, 2006 - 06:45 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Amazing writing.....I could empathise with so many of the feelings.

I cant remember when spanking didnt fasinate me. I have strong memories of playing schools, and family type games when I was very young and trying to get spanked by playmates.

I did think I was strange and that it was only me that felt that way...LOL.

The internet opened a new world.
If you don't like the answer, then you shouldn't have asked the question.
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Patsy06
New Spanko
Username: Patsy06

Post Number: 2
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Sunday, October 29, 2006 - 06:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


I really enjoyed this reading, it is wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
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Shadowrose40
Intermediate Spanko
Username: Shadowrose40

Post Number: 127
Registered: 01-2006
Posted on Sunday, February 18, 2007 - 03:38 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Excellent, Ross.

I can relate to the 'dread' and 'excitement' both at the same time.

It was to be avoided, and exciting at the same time.

I don't know how or why I became interested, but it's been there for as long as I can remember.

I loved the poem. To me, that's all a 'punishment' should be--even though my characters are sometimes much harsher :-)

I don't believe in spanking children-- but that's just my opinion. Guess I've seen way too much abuse in my time.

But consenting adults? Yes, please :-)

I've never considered spankings only sexual- but yes, sensual. It's the entire process, from start to finish.




It's not my fault, I didn't do it! Oh wait, well, even if I did do it, and I'm not admitting any guilt... Was it really so bad?

Submissive does not equal doormat, and Dominant does not equal Domineering
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Wisewoman
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Username: Wisewoman

Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2007
Posted on Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 07:26 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

As a very new member I have only just read your essay Ross and found it fascinating and exciting. I also thoroughly enjoyed the stories ofyours that I have read so far. What a wealth of enjoyment from these archives I can look forward to. Thank you again.
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Opb
New Spanko
Username: Opb

Post Number: 8
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Sunday, April 08, 2007 - 01:47 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Dear Ross,

Thanks very much for your essay, you have a truly amazing memory for detail, but perhaps it just shows how significant incidents of spanking are in our young lives that they remain so clear after so long. I was not spanked as a child, only once receiving a few taps during one visit to the headmaster, but I remember that and other incidents I observed very clearly.

So are we wierd ? No. Unusual? probably, particularly in the light of your final sentence.

Thanks for the post

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Kilahara
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 9243
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Sunday, April 08, 2007 - 10:17 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hello, Ollie:

Thank you for your comments. Despite advancing years and the inevitable decrease in short term memory, I don't think there is any spanking experience in which I was personally involved that has been forgotten, and it is certainly the importance of spanking to me that makes each event a memorable one. For whatever reason, spanking is a vital part of my life, and times of drought are indeed most frustrating. The relationships and bonding that come through spanking are vital to the pleasure as an adult, of course.

When you commented on my final sentence in the essay, I hope you realise that my meaning was that there appear to be more people involved in spanking who do so for reasons of discipline or expressing dominance/submission than paarticipate simply becuase it is a pleasure to spank or be spanked, and matters of discipline or control are at best secondary to the enjoyment. This observation is based on those whom I have met, r/l or cyber only, on or through Classics.

Ross
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and receive a tremendous impact..." Dan Quayle, with a little help from me...

Have plimsoll. Will travel.

Unless you were across a lap with your bottom bare, it was not a real spanking.
-collective wisdom of a group of nine and ten year-olds, in the days of my youth, long ago.


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Opb
New Spanko
Username: Opb

Post Number: 10
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 02:40 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ross,

Yes, that is exactly what I took your final sentence to mean.

I too have noticed - to my surprise I must add - since starting to explore other people's experience of spanking via the internet that there is far more written about discipline than about sensuality. I know that sometimes the discipline is a pretext and sometimes a construct and the real purpose is more complicated. It would take a more clever man than me to attempt to untangle these two aspects of TTYD, and it would be very interesting to hear from those who use spanking exclusively for punishment, and never for sensual/sexual purposes.

Of course it might just be that there is more to say, more interesting things to discuss, or that those who indulge in discipline (mostly the bottoms) are people naturally more inclined to share their experiences on the internet. Certainly in my neck of the woods we don't talk publicly about what we do in the bedroom at all, so it's perhaps not surprising that sexually related spanking is less well represented in the internet literature.
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Peter
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Peter

Post Number: 6852
Registered: 01-2003
Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 07:01 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Ollie, this is a good topic for the spanking discussions board.
Personally I only wrote "nice" stories for many years and I think there are only two stories on Classics involving me which actually feature punishments and they were written by the sub for their catharsis. We kept the punishment stuff private for many reasons.
I walk quietly but carry a big stick

Come fly with the Eagle,
Your senses will sing
The toys in my hands
Pure pleasure will bring

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Kilahara
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 9251
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 09:12 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ollie, until finding the Internet, shortly after it was developed for public use, I had assumed that anyone interested in spanking as an adult, had that interest for the same reasons that I did and had always done, for pleasure and the wonderful sensations experienced by those who both give and receive spankings. I was quickly taken to task after a few of my stories were posted for ignoring the importance of discipline, punishment, dominance and submission. My original belief was that there is no such thing as true submission in the world of TTWD, although there were those who knowingly submitted to spankings in order to enjoy the sensuality but still remaining in control of themselves. This, of course, becomes a nice point of argument from a philosophical standpoint. As with all entrenched philosophical, political and religious viewpoints there are clearly divergent and entrenched positions.
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and receive a tremendous impact..." Dan Quayle, with a little help from me...

Have plimsoll. Will travel.

Unless you were across a lap with your bottom bare, it was not a real spanking.
-collective wisdom of a group of nine and ten year-olds, in the days of my youth, long ago.


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Priscilla
Junior Spanko
Username: Priscilla

Post Number: 50
Registered: 04-2007
Posted on Sunday, April 15, 2007 - 11:58 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

amazing recall u have Kilahara/Ross and very detailed. i enjoyed the reading.
i believe being spanked on a bare arse during times of growing up (especially as i was) imprints a miriad of memories in our psyche. many a time i received naked bottom spankings. my parents philosphy..."why wear out those clothes, when i can wear out your bad little ass"...(they were from the american south) i was raised in the north. i have a total and clear recall of these early on naked bottom spankings, and along with each spanking came a total conversation from the parental spanker that seemed to be directed only to the bottom in between each smack. i was in total submission & unable to do anything but bare the searing pain.
(also, i enjoyed the poem)
Getting what you go after is success; but liking it while you are getting it is happiness. ~ Bertha Damon
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Lily_p
Advanced Spanko
Username: Lily_p

Post Number: 1013
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Monday, June 18, 2007 - 11:55 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

This essay is excellent Ross and your definition of a spanking is far more appealing to me than the cold dictionary type. I, also see spanking as sensual and even receive punishment type spankings but that is really a "game" in effect and in all honesty, especially since I will not relinquish total control to anyone, even the one I love. I accept them because I want to and they bring me pleasure and I know I can escape any time I want to, so I suppose that makes me not to be a "real submissive" but a pretend one, and I'm OK with that. Simply put, I am spanked because I like it...... sometimes I love it.

Also, my history is a little confusing to me, because I was spanked as a child, mostly by my father and the nuns at school. They were OTK, skirt up and only on the panties (my mother wouldn't allow otherwise) And occasionally with a ruler and that did smart!!!!! I hated those spankings, or so I thought. My father was never angry when he admistered them, and I was properly lectured throughout and forgiven and hugged after it was over. Today, my Dad is a wonderful person and always was.... I never thought he was abusive.

So my confusion comes when I began to erotisize the spankings after my own stopped at about 14/15. I fantasized as you did, in all kinds of scenerios, with all kinds of implements, positions, I read about it, watched every movie on it, you name it - if it had anything to do with spanking, I ABSORBED it!!!

My fantasies did not include my father of course, but other men of authority, teachers, neighbors, friends of family and even priests. Always men, mostly otk and bare bottom. It was my first moments of sensual/sexual awakening for me. So, I'm still confused that I hated my father's and the nuns spankings, but then later fantasized very vividly about it and still do. It also took me all these years to even act on it and participate fully - again thanks to the internet.

Thanks for putting it into perspective Ross. Very nice job and well written. You are such a value to this site!



"Nature knows no difference between weeds and flowers."
- Mason Cooley
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Kilahara
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 9599
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 12:37 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Lily, you are vcery kind in your assessment. It is good to see your thoughts on this matter, and read one more perspective and experience. We all share the inerest, yet we are all so different in our experiences and our approaches to spankings.

It is intersting to speculate on the dichotomy you see betwen youthful punishment spankings and the purposely sensual ones. Probably the essencee of the difference in your mind comes with drawing a clear line between the two kinds of spankings.

Parental spankings, as I look back, were not somethinbg to be sought, partly due to the intimacy aspect and therefore inate avoidance of incestuouous experiences, something most humans avoid at all costs, and partly the desirfe to avoid punishment. For me from about the age of four or five the difference became clear between my mother and other women. My fantasy spankings at that age always involved younger women who were attractrive to me in appearance, despite my not understanding why women are so attractive!

Then, too, there is the clear difference bertween spanking for pleasure and for disipline. One is intended to be enjoyed, the other is not. Your thoughts and mine were anbd are similar here. I suspect others may feel the same.

Looking at adult experience in corporal punishment, having been a teacher and administrator in schools in the hey day of cp, I found no pleasure at all in adminsitering the strap, cane or slipper for discipline and avoided it as much as possible. I also recognised that there were times when cp was my duty and required. As a beginning teacher in England, I learned that a master who did not use the cane did not have the respect of most pupils.

So on that level, where discipline was involved,I got no joy from spanksville... However, I never turned down an opportunity to give a spanking to a willing woman, except on one occasion recently where a serious health worry was filling my mind. During those few days, there were really no activities that appealed! That, I think was a once only problem to be faced! I hope so.
A spanking without love, consent, trust and respect is abuse.
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Kjm
Intermediate Spanko
Username: Kjm

Post Number: 353
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 08:54 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ross, very good essay and of course your usual wonderful style in recollecting childhood moments.

I also started very early introduced by a friend's mom who loved getting spanked on her skirted bottom after forefeiting a silly game. But for me, from the very beginning spanking female bottoms equaled pleasure (for both) and discipline - for the dame of course - dealt by me certainly.

Most of the spanking stories that I found (I learned French only to read them) dealt in both aspects. Blushes stories that simply were writen to illustrate the beautiful photos were mostly about humiliation, discipline and tame sex.

Even Janus stories dealt with discipline - from schoolgirls to naughty wives.

From the first willing woman that I had on my knees for a very tame spanking - always asking if it didn't hurt until she got angry and told me to stop talking and spank - to my present partner - the discipline was involved. Not real discipline - mind me - a role play discipline followed - not always - but fairly often by most intense love making.

So, yes, for me the sensous spanking experience for itself is not bad, but accompanied with a discipline scenario is an enhanced incredible sensation.

And of course, variation being the spice of life - sometimes I indulge in much darker fantasies...

Ross, reading your works - fiction or essay - is a pleasure that I had for many years - and I only am sorry that I decided to delurk so late in my life to be able to comment on them.
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Kilahara
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 9601
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 11:56 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thank you, Kjm, for your very kind comments!

Back to the topic of discipline in spankings. Of course discipline fits ideally into the scenes in a role play setting, where spankings are given or received for minor infractions of the moment, and that kind of gthing. The same goes for wagers and forfweits at appropriate times. In these cases, while discipline may appear to be involved, it is still really the sensuality that is enjoyed.

In the matter of real discipline, and here I address both you and Lily as well as any wider audience, the purpose of a real discipline spaninkjg is punishment or consewuences and not pleasure. With that in mind, the dihotomy mentioned by Lily becomes clear, I think. As children, we were not intended to enjoy spankings by parents, relatives, teachers or others who might have been in authority. Therefore it was better to avoid those as much as possible. Even if those did not hurt physically, there was embarrassment or humilation.
A spanking without love, consent, trust and respect is abuse.
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Lily_p
Advanced Spanko
Username: Lily_p

Post Number: 1020
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 12:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Exactly Ross!

But I still wonder: Where is the connection?
How is it that I went from hating parental spankings and avoiding them at all cost to craving them on a nearly daily bases, and so soon after my own parental spankings stopped?
There must have been some parallel connection there, or was it just coincidence? Surely I was never ever aroused my my father's spankings. No way!




"Nature knows no difference between weeds and flowers."
- Mason Cooley
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Kilahara
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 9604
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 12:30 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Lily wrote:


quote:

Surely I was never ever aroused my my father's spankings. No way!




Exactly so, and that is as it should be. It may be, however, that you, like many other people, did not discover the sensuality of your bottom until the age of puberty. That would pretty well explain it.

For me, after the age of awareness, maternal spankings were not enjoyed, but accepted as a normal part of life in my youth, as were the school strap, cane and slipper. After the introduction of the hairbrush and strap at home,I rebelled, and around the age of 12 and simply refused to cooperate oraccept them there. There wsere no more paental spankings or other cp.

In my case, however, there were also spankings in my childhood that were not parental or aademic in origin. There was an aunt, for instance, but more important were the play sessions with my cousin and her girl friends where I had my first opportunity to spank as well as be spanked. Out of that grew my obvious preference for being a Top, along, of course, with the discovery my sexual orientation and my gender.


A spanking without love, consent, trust and respect is abuse.
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Lily_p
Advanced Spanko
Username: Lily_p

Post Number: 1022
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 01:36 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

There was never a doubt as to my sexual orientation and never a doubt that I wanted to be spanked my men only, preferably older men. Never got much out of boyfriends my age spanking me. That was never authoritative enough, which was what I craved. Those spankings were just playful but all adding to the uniqueness of TTWD.


"Nature knows no difference between weeds and flowers."
- Mason Cooley
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Opb
Junior Spanko
Username: Opb

Post Number: 72
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 04:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Lily,

Ross is right, I expect when you started puberty you started to notice how sensual your bottom was, and started to become aware of sexual things.

At exactly the same time the parental spankings stop for the same reason, because it is unseemly for a father to be applying this kind of discipline to a sensual area of a young woman. It happens at the same time for the same reason.
Obsessed ? Moi ?
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Lily_p
Advanced Spanko
Username: Lily_p

Post Number: 1055
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 10:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks Ollie! And I'm now thinking it is just a coincidence. After all, there are plenty of people who fantasize/participate in spanking who have never been spanked as a child at all, so there must be no correlation to childhood spankings at all.

"Nature knows no difference between weeds and flowers."
- Mason Cooley
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Kilahara
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 9605
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 01:52 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The jury remains out, Lily, likely deadlocked, on that one in the Court of Applied Psychology! Many who were spanked would disagree with you, but no doubt many will agree.

From my childhood memories, long ago, I seem to recall that all of us who played spanking games and enjoyed spankings (non-parental and non-paedagogical) were aware at a young age that a hand on the bottom feels good. Others did not discover that until puberty. We are all different, and we all develop in different ways and at different rates, of course. People make an interesting study! (So do spankings...)
A spanking without love, consent, trust and respect is abuse.
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Opb
Junior Spanko
Username: Opb

Post Number: 78
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 08:10 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

For myself, I was fascinated by spanking long before I ever heard of sex, but was never spanked as a child, and if I had been I would have avoided it like the plague. I saw other children spanked, and it had no effect other than to think "I don't want that happening to me"

I think for me there was always a strict division between the interest, and the childhood discipline
Obsessed ? Moi ?
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Elf
Junior Spanko
Username: Elf

Post Number: 31
Registered: 07-2007
Posted on Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 10:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I am putting your story in a mental compartment I call theology, from a quote by William F. Fore, "All these theologies have at least one thing in common: they are attempts to deal honestly and lucidly with the way things are, so as to help people understand what life is all about."

Thank you for writing this article. It is meaningful, and meaning filled.

P.S. There is a sentence in there, or a pair of them, that repeat... something about an illness and a hospital, I think it was. Might want to fix that.
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Kilahara
Spanking Wizards (Moderator)
Username: Kilahara

Post Number: 9789
Registered: 12-2002
Posted on Saturday, July 14, 2007 - 11:02 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks, Elf... I went looking for the sentences you mention, but they eluded me somehow. Can you you give me an idea as to where they are in the document? Perhaps identify the section by heading or maybe how close to the beginning middle or end? Once I find it, an appropriate correction will be made.
A spanking without love, consent, trust and respect is abuse.
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Indianakevin
New Spanko
Username: Indianakevin

Post Number: 2
Registered: 12-2007
Posted on Tuesday, December 04, 2007 - 02:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Ross.. Thanks for writting such a wonderful artical! So well written! I got addicted to all things spanko at an early age when I saw the school principal spank a boy bare bottom in the 1st grade. However when it came to getting the paddle at school I always tried to avoid it usually out of fear, but always delighted in seeing it given to others and hearing lots of details from my friends who were spanked at home.. I was not.. my parents just did'nt go there. I wish I could turn back the "hands of time" I think that I would have earned all the paddlings I could in school especially since the teachers in the 60's & 70's were giving out the licks so often! I miss it now... Thanks again, I.K.

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